“Freedom Is…”

I hate when teachers, professors, whatever give me free reign. When they hit you with write about whatever you want some people get excited. I have to many interest, and when I am in the middle of a mega hyper focus, its hard enough for me to focus on my work, let alone pick an acceptable topic.

I also hate it when teachers, professors, whatever, restrict what I can write about. Sometimes the angles they want me to approach something from is so boring or mundane. Like the questions actors hear all the time. At some point you get bored of answering it and bull shit your way through it.

I enjoy when they give me a road map. It’s restricted freedom. Like bumpers at a boiling alley. Actually scrap that, it’s more like a racetrack. I can stand in any lane I want and I can run how I want, but I’m still on the track. The illusion of Choice.

The Algorithm

I grew up in the church and the funniest thing about faith is the logic, or lack there of needed to sustain it. God sees all, god knows all, God knows the path of your life, and God gave you free will. Wrap your head around that. Your story if set, but your free, and also you’ll burn for choosing the wrong path, that he already knows about. Sounds like God maybe a bit of a dick.

What does this have to do with Algorithms, you may ask. How can a set of calculations governed by arbitrary rules have anything to do with teacher, professors, whatever, and G.O.D.?

The illusion of free will.

I may have ADHD, but I for sure have Major Depression, and hardcore parkour time blindness, and the ability to hyper focus on something like it’s my job. So when you put me on youtube, in the middle of a low, while I’m hyper focusing, if there is nothing scheduled to require my immediate attention, I could lose days. The algorithm on YouTube feeds me what it believes I will like based on several factors. Among them are the channels I follow, the videos I watch, and the area I live in. Which is why despite the fact that I am staunchly to the left of the political spectrum, they will still offer me Ben-fucking-Shapiro.

In this case Youtube is authority, the algorithm are the allowed paths dictated by whatever arbituary law or rule, and I’m still the poor “ugly bag of mostly water” (thanks TNG) being manipulated.

I recognize the illusion of freedom and understand its limits, allowing me to operate somewhat beyond its bounds. However, the comfort that illusion provides—like an instructor giving me a racetrack to complete my assignment—remains just that: an illusion. A comfortable cage.

Freedom is a beautiful and terrifying thing, and it’s something I don’t think we as living beings have ever fully experienced, by some design or another. We will always seek the comfort of the illusion. It’s why algorithms work so well. Governing bodies have had years to work out the kinks, there’s plenty of history to fall back on (which thankfully these dudes are terrible at or we’d have no wiggle room), as for companies. Tons of research has gone into advertising, and the expertise of grifters have never found a more comfortable home. The algorithm, like most things isn’t new. It’s just an evolved form. Like a Pokemon.

So why the title?

I am a nerd/geek with a disillusionment problem. So many of the books, graphic novels, and shows I watch deal heavily in this theme. My disillusionment with authority, particularly G.O.D. means that I have encountered many stories that directly give the “big man” or the religious fever surrounding it the middle finger. Among them is Supernatural.

Something about Applen’s line “We think we are making unique choices that reflect who we are as individuals, but this is illusionary.” (Apple 12) struck a cord. It made think of a line from a character in the show. A rather naive and seemingly autistic angel named Castiel.

“…Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”